Fortune Cookies
by Rennes
Summary: The Seigaku tennis team goes out to eat dinner at a Chinese restaurant and they read fortune cookies.
1. Fuji and the Sombrero

The Magical Chinese Restaurant

* * *

**XxX**

* * *

Once upon a time, the Seigaku tennis team regulars decided to take a nice little outing to the new Chinese restaurant in town to celebrate that Kawamura was going into the hospital.

"Guys, I can't help but feel that this is kind of wrong." Oishi said in earnest, as they all took their seats. "I mean, he is our friend. Shouldn't we be supporting him instead of celebrating his absence?"

"Oishi, stop being so nice, nya!" Eiji cried, flinging his arms around his doubles partner. "Kawamura just set his record for screen time in that really intense Hadokyuu match! And he _still_ didn't manage to win! Do you know how much we all hate stalemates?"

"Yes, we all hate stalemates." Everyone chorused.

"Yeah, but...geez," said Oishi, rubbing his neck, "it just somehow feels wrong to be celebrating that he's in the hospital when he injured himself so severely trying to make us win—"

"Oishi, quit whining or we'll have dinner without you, too." Tezuka ordered without even looking at Oishi.

Since everyone seemed in favor of celebrating Kawamura's misfortune, Oishi sadly went along with it and took his seat at the table. Echizen's feet didn't even reach the floor when he got into his chair. He tried to compensate for this by coolly asking, "So why's this place called Magical Chinese Restaurant anyway? It doesn't seem too damn magical to me", but every one could tell that he was just trying to feel tall by putting someone else down, so they ignored him. You may not guess, but the Seigaku team members are perceptive as hell.

"Okay, now let's make this a good clean celebration," said Tezuka, raising his glass, "everyone enjoy yourself or I'll kill you."

"Hear, hear!" Fuji smiled complacently. "I think this night is going to get pretty wild."

"So…" Tezuka raised his glass of water, though he had removed the ice from it so it would look like vodka. "Good game, everyone! I think it was the best of all so far. We fought well and with any luck Kawamura won't be back for the rest of the season!"

They all drank to that.

"And as a treat, I will be paying for all of us!" Tezuka announced.

Kaidoh spat out his water.

"Now I see why it's called Magical Chinese Restaurant." Said Eiji. "Tezuka not being stingy? _That's_ magic!"

"Don't push your luck." Tezuka warned.

"Geez guys, I don't know…I just feel like such a jerk." Muttered Oishi.

Everyone ignored his conscience attack as the waitress came to take their order.

"Yeah, I'd like—" Momoshiro began, but Tezuka cut him off.

"I'll be doing the ordering here." He said sharply.

"Good data." Said Inui.

Tezuka regarded the menu for a few moments, flipping through it and checking out the various rice, meat, fish, and noodle dishes. Finally he looked up.

"We'll have an order of eight fortune cookies, please." He said, dead serious.

"_What_?" said everyone and the waitress.

"Eight fortune cookies. And some of those orange slices." Repeated Tezuka, handing her the menu. "Make it snappy."

"Tezuka, what the hell!?" complained Momoshiro. "You said you would pay!"

"And you really thought I would spend that much money on you guys?" he asked. He turned back to the waitress. "You can bring the check also."

"Um....we don't sell fortune cookies." She said.

"What do you mean, you don't sell fortune cookies?" Asked Tezuka. "This is a Chinese restaurant."

"Yes, I'm aware." She said. "But fortune cookies come for free when you order something. We don't really......sell them individually."

"Fine, then bring me a coke!" shouted Tezuka. "And then the check with oranges and fortune cookies!"

She disappeared.

Tezuka leaned back in his seat, rubbing his temples.

"Aw man, so all we get for dinner is fortune cookies and a slice of orange?" Eiji pouted. "I knew Tezuka becoming generous was too good to be true."

"So much for Magical Chinese Restaurant." Said Fuji lightly.

Eiji frowned. "Ne, Fuji, were you wearing that sombrero when we came in?"

Fuji frowned and glanced up at the giant red straw hat that was suddenly on his head. "You know, I don't really know."

XxXxXxX

The waitress was back with the cookies, oranges, and Tezuka's coke in less than two minutes. Everyone took one of the cookies and a slice of orange and Tezuka took a sip of his coke. Everyone shot wistful glances at the it.

They all sort of sat around in silence, looking at their pitiful dinners.

"...so what should we do now?" asked Echizen finally.

"Oh, quit being so pathetic, you guys" said Tezuka. "Eat the cookies and read your fortunes!"

There was a pause, and then Kaidoh doubtfully reached for his dinner, unwrapped it and cracked open the wanton shaped cookie. He pulled out the small slip of paper within and smoothed it out on the table to read it.

_You will be totally awesome and happy and successful in your life.........._

Kaidoh raised his eyebrows a little, but you could tell he was pleased.

"Wait, there's an ellipse, nya!" cried Eiji. "Turn it over!"

Kaidoh grudgingly did so.

_....__.**NOT!** Lol_.

Everyone laughed as Kaidoh began to blush profusely and hiss. He crumpled up the fortune and shoved it into his pocket.

Everyone felt better now that they had laughed at someone else's expense. It lightened the mood considerably.

"Man, I love these," said Momoshiro, wiping his eyes. "They almost make you want to be Chinese."

"You know, there's no way real Chinese people eat these." Said Echizen, sniffing importantly.

"Oh, shut up Echizen, you're just jealous." Said Momoshiro, now tearing open his own fortune cookie with his teeth. "I want to see mine!"

_The person next to you is a bag of douche. _

Momoshiro looked around him. Kaidoh sat to his left. Echizen sat to his right.

"Wait, which side!?" roared Momoshiro. "They didn't say which—"

"Oh, Momoshiro they're not serious." Said Oishi in a mother-hen-like way. "These fortunes are completely random. It's not like they write them specifically for us or anything."

"But I've got to know which side!" Momoshiro howled. "And they are TOO written specificall for us!"

Oishi gave him a pacifier to shut him up and then he opened his own fortune:

_You are the vice captain of a tennis team at a middle school. You tend to be very kind and motherly to the rest of your team. You have black hair and green eyes and pretty much the worst haircut in the history of anime and manga. I don't really get your role in the plot. You're not exactly useless, but on the other hand you've never done anything that had a long term effect on the plot. If I were you......._

Oishi's fortune went on for pages. No one knew how it had been folded into such a small size.

_.......__and so in conclusion, between Nintendo and X-box, I would definitely recommend Nintendo because they have the most epic games, such as The Legend of Zelda and Super Mario 64_.

"Wow. Okay, how was that _not_ written for you?" asked Momoshiro thickly, through his pacifier.

"Damn. Fair point." Oishi admitted.

"Good data." Said Inui.

Everyone was a bit afraid to open their fortunes after that.

Eiji bravely reached for his own and slit it open. "Whew, it's only one line!" he exclaimed.

_You can take off the bandage, they won't be grossed out. _

Everyone stared at Eiji and at the fortune. Finally, Kaidoh voiced what they were all thinking.

"Wait a minute…." Kaidoh began.

"Guys, I can explain!" cried Eiji, but Kaidoh interrupted him again.

"There's a grammatical error in this fortune!" Kaidoh finished.

Everyone nodded fervently.

"There.....is?" Eiji looked back down at it.

"Yes." Said Fuji. "Don't worry about it. It's just a simple comma splice. That comma between "bandage" and "they" should be a semi colon in order to separate the two independent clauses."

"Oh, of—of course!" said Eiji hurridly. "That's what I was going to explain!"

"Good data." Said Inui.

No one seemed to care what the fortune had actually said, so they moved on.

"Echizen, open yours." Ordered Tezuka, by way of transition.

Echizen was nervous to obey. He didn't really want to be insulted by a cookie in front of everyone, but refusing to open it would look like a cop-out. He opened it with a certain level of trepidation.

_You should smoke weed. It might make you HIGH._

The dinner table was a riot.

"OWNED!" screamed Oishi. Then he realized how out of character that had been. He cleared his throat and composed himself. "I'm terribly sorry." He said with dignity. "That short person joke is unfunny and immature."

"Indeed it is." Said Fuji, smiling brilliantly, though you could tell he was laughing on the inside.

"Funny, is it!?" snapped Echizen. "Let's see _yours_ then!" Echizen lunged across the table and snatched the fortune away from the tensai, opening it himself.

_Pale green paint complements almost any room._

There was silence.

"What the _hell_?" said Momoshiro finally. "That's not even a fortune!"

"Maybe it's one of those feng shui things," suggested Fuji lightly.

"Good data." Inui said.

"Inui, shut the hell up." Said Tezuka flatly. "That's like the fifth time you've said that this evening, and we all know it's not good data at all."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Said Inui. "I don't even use most of it."

"Then why do you take it?" asked Eiji.

"If I didn't take notes, what would I do?"

There was silence as everyone tried to imagine Inui without his notebook. Then they all burst out laughing.

"Okay fine, so I won't say "good data" anymore." conceded Inui.

"So what's yours, Data man?" chucked Oishi, who had somehow broken his own rule not to laugh at other people.

Inui shrugged, peeling his own fortune open. He raised his eyebrows.

_Your captain was never sick. In Germany he chilled and ate out everyday and hooked up with German babes. Also, the truth is that the Kennedy assassination was the work of a conspiracy led by American vice president Lyndon B. Johnson. _

"Wow." Said Inui, taking out his pen. "This really is good—"

"NO, Inui!" Kaidoh said.

"But it really is—"

"Quiet!" everyone ordered.

No one would believe Inui that the data in the fortune actually was interesting and useful. They made him throw his fortune away.

"That just leaves you, Tezuka." Said Oishi.

They all stared as he intensely reached for the cookie in slow motion. He unwrapped it.

There was dead silence, as everyone tried to read Tezuka's expression through his glasses as he regarded his cookie. Tezuka grunted and dismissively dropped it on the floor.

"Well, what _was_ it!?" cried Eiji impatiently.

"Nothing." He lifted his hand in a vague gesture. "Same as Momoshiro's."

"Awwwww." They all chorused.

"Lame." Said Kaidoh.

"Don't you hate when that happens?" Said Oishi.

"I hate when they make it obvious that these fortunes are generic." Echizen added.

"Yeah, let's get out of this restaurant." Concluded Tezuka. "It's lame. Not magical at all."

They crunched up their fortune cookies and ate their orange slices and then Tezuka mounted the horse that was next to the table, and even though technically they hadn't paid, they all left the restaurant.

* * *

**XxX**

* * *

Yay for random stories! To be continued?


	2. Whatever Happened to Sanada?

Rikkaidai's turn  


* * *

**XxXxX**

* * *

"So repeat, why are we here?"

"Because you want to prove that you can do anything Tezuka can." Kirihara mumbled. Yanagi wacked him over the head with a cane. "I mean, because we earned it! Or something...."

"Damn straight." Yanagi straightened up, adjusting his cane over his shoulder. He was decked out in a tuxedo with a bowtie, wore a large black top hat, and carried a cane under one arm.

"Renji's right." Added Sanada gruffly, dabbing at his eyes with an embroidered handkerchief. "After all, it's what Yukimura would want. And after all he'd been through in life, the least we could do was.....the least we could do would be to......"

Sanada broke into very uncharacteristic sobs and flung his head down on the restaurant table, entire body convulsing.

The Rikkaidai tennis team was in mourning. Their beloved captain Yukimura had collapsed from some strange nerve disease years before. He had spent nine months in the hospital, recovering bit by bit, though every day was a struggle. The only thing that kept Yukimura going was the knowledge that one day he could return to his school and play tennis. Thus, Yukimura had fought the disease. He had worked hard, and undergone numerous surgeries and therapies, but he beat on, fueled by the dream that he would someday return to his beloved team.

And indeed that day did come! After his months in the hospital, the doctors finally proclaimed Yukimura well enough to come home! Yukimura was ectastic, as was the rest of his team: they had known he could do it! They had known Yukimura could defeat that disease!

Unfortunately, however, on Yukimura's first day back, he was crossing the street to enter the school and got hit by a bus and died.

"Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy, oh, WHYYYYYYY God!??" Sanada suddenly shouted, getting to his feet and shaking his fists at the ceiling. "Why did you have to take him from us the second before he entered his school again, like he had dreamed about for nine months!?"

Everyone else pretty much ignored Sanada since comforting him would have felt awkward. It was like they didn't miss Yukimura or regret his death—but after all, that had been almost two years ago. Sanada just acted like the news was new everyday.

So, more to shut Sanada up than anything else, Yanagi had suggested that they all eat out at the new Chinese restaurant in order to cheer him up.

Sanada calmed down after a while and sat at his place quietly sniffling. Renji sat to his right trying to discreetly take notes on Sanada's sorrow, while Niou or Yagyuu flipped through the menu with Yagyuu or Niou. Marui had brought enough gum for dinner, so he wasn't ordering, and Kirihara was teasing Jackal by putting giant bunny ears on the latter with his chopsticks.

The waitress came to take their orders.

"Yes....." Yanagi decided to take charge since he was the only capacitated member of the "big three" left. "We'll have....fried noodles....."

Sanada's lip trembled. "Yukimura loved noodles."

"…a Peking duck…"

"Yukimura delighted in duck…"

"…Szechuanese beef…"

"Yukimura savored Szechuanese beef…"

"…..braised tofu…."

"Tofu was Yukimura's treat…"

"….Mushu pork…"

"Yukimura prized pork…"

"…..fried bananas…."

"Yukimura fancied fried bananas…."

"Sanada, shut the hell up!" Yanagi shouted, so that he might have a chance at finishing the ordering sometime that night. "No one's impressed that you can find a synonym for "like" that begins with each letter of the foods!"

"Actually, I was kind of impressed," said Jackal.

"No one _who matters_ was impressed," Yanagi amended.

"Awww." Said Jackal, though no one was listening.

Sanada's eyes leaked tears again, but quieted himself. Yanagi sighed and turned back to the waitress.

"Let's also have some steamed rice and kungpao chicken." He said quickly. He glanced at Sanada, though we can't really be sure where he was looking since his eyes were closed, but his head moved in that general direction, so we'll assume that was where he was glancing.

"And….get something special for him—" Yanagi muttered under his breath to the waitress, gesturing at Sanada. "As a dessert or something. Just something nice. He needs cheering up."

"I surmised as much."

The team waited for the food to arrive in awkward silence. Talking about Yukimura and defeating Seigaku had taken them through most of middle school, but now that Yukimura was dead and Seigaku had kicked their asses, the Rikkaidai team realized for the first time, that they had absolutely nothing to talk about.

"So," Said Niou finally, when he snapped under the weight of the silence. "What's up with you guys?"

"Well, we were all waiting in reverent silence for Sanada to get a grip on himself, but since you apparently decided that it's time to talk, I guess we'll all have to resort to conversation." said Yanagi evenly. He had had the whole thing planned out.

"How about them Lakers?" tried Niou weakly.

"What?" said Kirihara.

"Hey, guess what?" said Yagyuu suddenly.

They all turned to look at him. "What?"

"I'm really.......Niou!" he cried, tearing off a mask. "And that's Yagyuu!" he added, pointing across the table at the other boy who was also removing a mask.

There was silence.

"Um, okay." Said Marui finally. "But what did that have to do with......._anything_ we were talking about?"

The two tricksters looked at eachother.

"I somehow though it might make the situation less awkward." Said Niou uncomfortably. "But now that you put it like that, I don't really know why I said that."

"Come to think of it, our whole trickster routine doesn't really make a whole lot of sense, now does it?" said Yagyuu, rubbing his chin thoughtfully and staring at the ceiling. "I can see why they cut it out of the anime."

Fortunately, their awkward conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the food.

"Now be careful with what you touch, Akaya," Yanagi warned. "Don't let your germs get near the rest of us. We don't want to get pink eye."

"You guys are so mean to me about that." Akaya complained. "I can't help it! I just can't beat the infection."

"Well, it's not like it's completely useless," said Yanagi. "Personally, I still get a kick out of grossing out our tennis competitors with your infection. It's like they think it's a devil mode or something!"

Everyone had a good laugh at that.

"Well, thank Gods it's time to eat," said Kirihara, "I'm hungry!"

"Wait a minute!" Yanagi grabbed his wrist before Kirihara could touch the food. "There's something very wrong going on here!" he said.

"What's-that-Yanagi-sempai?" chorused all the others, since it was actually pretty regular for Yanagi to announce that there was something direly wrong for no apparent reason.

"Where are the fortune cookies?" He asked the waitress, eyes narrowing.

"They'll come with your bill."

"I want them _now_." He said slowly and deliberately.

"Very well." She scurried away so as not to get burned by the lasers coming from his eyes, though she vaguely wondered what it was with boy tennis players and fortune cookies these days.

Yanagi sighed contentedly and reclined in his seat, "Good, now everyone get ready 'cause we're reading fortunes to eachother as soon as she comes back. Goodness, did I just make an error in diction? I must be getting excited!"

Since this statement was idiotic and untrue, everyone ignored it. But then they realized that since Yanagi was such a precise guy, the fact that he would utter a statement so utterly false had to prove that there indeed _was_ something wrong with him—that he possibly was excited—and therefore that his statement was actually true. Damn logic.

By the time everyone had worked this out in their minds, the fortune cookies had arrived.

"Finally! Maybe something interesting will happen now. It's like a goddam morgue in here!" Jackal's voice was far too loud as he snatched one of the fortunes.

Tearing it open, he found that there were no words, but only numbers.

"Oh, look! I have lucky numbers!" exclaimed Jackal. "That's awesome!"

"Actually, it's probably just because no one cared enough to write a fortune for you." Said Marui.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Said Jackal. "But still, check them out!"

"1,2,3,4,5,6" Read Marui. "Very original."

"Why does everyone hate me?" Jackal asked rather lightly, looking around the table.

"We don't hate you; you're just an awkward addition to this table," said Yagyuu. "Therefore, we wish you wouldn't talk. Just sit quietly with Sanada, hmm?"

"And lose the fortune." Added Kirihara.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Jackal agreed. He burned his fortune in a candle that was apparently on the table.

"God, this dinner is so awkward." Said Kirihara, shaking his head and opening his own fortune.

_Your soul mate is a person that hates you. _

_P.S. It's not Tachibana Ann_

_P.P.S. I'll give you ten bucks if you can guess who it is. _

_P.P.P—_

"Yeah, I stop reading after two p.s.'s," said Kirihara. "My soul mate is someone who currently hates me?"

"Well, that really doesn't narrow it down, now does it?" Niou laughed and slapped Yagyuu high five.

"That's interesting," said Kirihara. "I mean, to have a soulmate but not know who it is.....to live in that mystery.........that's kind of intriguing."

"Not really." Said Yagyuu.

"Fine, then show me intriguing!" snapped Kirihara, terribly hurt by their rejection.

Yagyuu shrugged and opened his fortune:

_Someone at this table has committed murder_

"Pfft. Yeah, because _that's_ all intriguing!" joked Kirihara. But then he stopped laughing when he realized that no one was taking the news lightheartedly. _  
_

The music playing in the restaurant had stopped and everyone at the table had gone quiet. They were all shooting furtive glances at one another. Yanagi broke the silence by coughing tensely.

"Well—that's….obviously not true....." He began. He trailed off when he saw that no one would lighten up.

"Well, it's _not_ true, right!?" he demanded.

"Why are you getting all defensive, Yanagi?" asked Niou. "That kind of makes it seem like you are the guilty one. I mean, that's just the sort of thing you would say if you were the killer."

"You know, Niou, now you're on the offensive, trying to pin the blame on someone else. That's just how _you_ would behave if _you_ were the killer!" retorted Yanagi, narrowing his eyes.

"How are you _not_ taking notes on this?" Niou asked Yanagi. "You're supposed to be a data man and this is an ideal situation where we're all vulnerable. By not taking notes, you're behaving out of character, and therefore make yourself more likely of being the killer."

"Niou, I have been studying data for longer than Horio has been playing tennis, and I can assure you there's less than a .4 percent chance that I am the killer."

"Well if it's not either of us, maybe it's Yagyuu!" Niou cried. "Staying quiet this whole time? That's exactly what_ he_ would do if _he_ was the killer. And anyway, it was _his_ fortune!"

"If it was my fortune, how does it make sense that I'm the killer?" Inserted Yagyuu. "I mean, why would _my own _fortune need to tell me that I'm the killer? Fortunes are supposed to illuminate the mystical, not tell you what you already know."

"So it IS you!" Kirihara shouted, waving his hands like a windmill.

"I meant_ theoretically_. Obviously." Said Yagyuu delicately, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"His logic is immaculate." Said Yanagi approvingly.

Marui had been zoning out for the past five minutes, but he snapped back at this point, realizing that everyone was sort of looking to him to break up the argument and change the subject by opening his fortune.

Marui was greatly pleased with his message. "Oh!" he said, when he opened it up:

_17_

While everyone else had been talking about who was a killer, Marui had been pondering what was the sixth root of 24,137,569. Therefore, he was happy that his fortune had answered. Why was Marui asking himself this question in the first place? That's a story for another day.

"Thanks, pal!" said Marui to his fortune.

_No problem._

Under usual circumstances, people might have been slightly concerned that someone was having a conversation with his fortune cookie, but since it was Marui, no one really cared.

"What's yours, Yanagi-sempai?" Asked Kirihara. "I bet you'll have something relating to your weird, domineering, and note-less nature today.

_You are acting unnerving like Fuji Syuusuke._

"Ah, how generic." Said Yanagi. "I mean, how many people do you think get that one a day?"

They all agreed.

"I want Sanada to open his!" whined Kirihara.

"Yes, whatever happened to Sanada?" agreed Yagyuu. "Haven't heard a word from him all evening."

Sanada, who had been quietly sniffling into his arms the whole time, looked up at this point, his eyes bloodshot. "I don't want a fortune," he said miserably. "Yukimura loved fortune cookies."

"Okay, seriously, Sanada, you're being ridiculous," said Yanagi. "Just open one for fun! I promise you that no one is trying to remind you of your.......loss."

Sanada sighed and opened a cookie. There was no fortune inside, but a life-sized poster of Yukimura posing in a field of daisies, that had somehow miraculously been folded up small enough to fit in the cookie.

Sanada started full-out sobbing, and his grabbed the last cookie to blow his nose on the fortune.

"Oh, God damn it! Sanada!" Niou sounded pissed. "That was my fortune!"

"Are you saying a fake fortune is more important than Yukimura?!" Sanada cried hysterically, waving the snot-sodden fortune at Niou.

"YES! I mean, NO! I mean—wait. What was the question!"

Sanada glared.

"I want a fortune!" Niou whined. "Or I feel as unimportant as Jackal! Waitress!"

The waitress came immediately.

"Wow, good service," said Niou. "I hardly had to say anything and you just knew that I needed another cookie."

"What?" she said. "Actually, I'm just here because I suddenly remembered that you guys ordered a special treat for the depressed boy." She gestured at Sanada. "Here it is. It's bound to make him smile!"

She offered out a dish and everyone leaned in to see what it was. Two dumplings lay on the little plate.

"I don't get it." Said Kirihara.

"It's a classic symbol!" she cried, appaled. "It represents love and tenderness and togetherness and eternal companionship for friends!"

Sanada screamed and collapsed in heaving sobs.

Everyone pretty much ignored him because that had become a norm throughout the evening.

"But, even so," said Yagyuu, "I don't see how two dumplings symbolize togetherness and companionship."

She frowned slightly. "Well see, it's one dumpling.........but then there's another."

Silence.

"Ah. That's tricky." Said Marui finally.

"What about my cookie?" said Niou.

"What cookie?" she asked.

"This guy sneezed on my cookie. I want another."

"No can do." She said. "You'll have to order another meal to get another set of cookies."

"That's so unfair!" he cried. "I thought this was a story where we all made fun of Sanada! How did it all turn so horribly wrong?!"

"Don't feel bad, Niou, we can still laugh at Sanada." Said Yanagi comfortingly.

"Yes, what a fine idea." Said the waitress. "Can I join in? I don't actually know the kid, but he looks like a loser."

"Indeed you can."

So they all laughed at Sanada's sorrow, partially to appease Niou who hadn't gotten a fortune, and partially just because they were turning into Fuji Syuusukes.

"Feel better now, Niou?" asked Yagyuu.

"A little, I admit." He said. "But I think I've worn out my quota for laughing at other peoples' misfortune for the day. What should we do now?"

"Let's kick puppies!" suggested Marui.

"Yay!" they all agreed it was a good idea.

On the way out, they passed a television by the door, which was announcing lottery winners.

"And for the Tokyo lottery—the winning numbers arrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeee...........

1—2—3—4—5—6!"

* * *

**XxXxX**

* * *

I'll give you ten bucks if you can guess who Kirihara's soulmate is.


	3. Hyoutei Musical

Sorry if this story doesn't make sense: I wrote it on a plane and I hadn't slept for 36 hours prior to writing.

Oh, and congratulations to Deal-wit-it for guessing Kirihara's soulmate: Kamio! Yay. Okay. So you get....glory. Or something. ....Right. This is kind of awkward, so we'll just cut to the story now.

* * *

**XxX**

* * *

"Here and now its time for celebration," said Atobe. "I finally figured it out."

"Figured what out?" asked Hiyoshi.

"I just said. That here and now is our time for celebration."

"Oh. Well, you didn't really make that clear somehow....."

"We're all in this together and it shows." Said Oshitari randomly.

"Well of course." Said Atobe delicately, taking a sip of his wine. "After all what we're doing is pretty avante-garde. We're the only team so far to be eating out at this Chinese restaurant together for reasons totally unrelated to death or injuries."

"So we're here for no reason basically?" asked everyone.

"More or less." Said Atobe. "But once we see there's a chance that we have and we take it......."

"I think you should end that sentence right there." Said Shishido.

"I'm still excited, in any case." Choutarou volunteered. "I love Chinese food! We can party here all night!"

"I certainly intend to." Said Atobe.

"Hey, hey! Problem!" Gakuto suddenly interrupted. "I have a curfew! I can only stay here until 11!"

Everyone considered this. "That's indeed a problem." Said Atobe finally. "That may be one of the gravest problems I have heard in a long time."

"Oh! I know how we can fix this!" said Choutarou snapping his fingers as his eyes lit up. "I have a great idea!"

"Ditch Gakuto?" Oshitari suggested.

"No, better!"

"Be reasonable, Choutarou," said Jirou. "Nothing could be better than ditching Gakuto."

"No, I've got one! Okay fine, ditching his would still be the best, but—"

"Then why'd you say it was the best if it isn't?"

"Mistake!" Choutarou screamed. "Doesn't anyone want to hear my idea?!"

"Okay, go ahead. We've had our fun." Said Oshitari happily, reclining.

"Well, here it is: Gakuto has to be back at 11, yeah? It's nine thirty now, so we catch a plane and fly to Australia. There, it's already eleven thirty so we chill, eat, and party until two in the morning and then we fly back and by the time the time difference works out, it'll only be eleven here!"

He broke off panting slightly as his teammates digested this idea.

"Choutarou," said Atobe finally, "that idea is utterly.....genius! Taking advantage of the different time zones? Awesome. Let's roll! I don't like Chinese food anyway."

Atobe whipped out his cell phone and thirty seconds later a helicopter broke through the roof of the Chinese restaurant and landed on their table.

"Together, together, together everyone! Together, together, come on lets have some fun!" cried Jirou

"Yeah!" they all shouted, and did their secret Hyoutei handshake, which is basically the same as any other team handshake except that they wiggle their fingers.

"Oh, wait." Said Atobe carelessly, as the plane was taking off, "I forgot. There's one good thing about Chinese restaurants: the fortune cookies. Someone go get some."

Everyone looked at Kabaji.

"No!" Atobe shouted. "Kabaji's not getting them. Even if it makes absolutely no sense, I somehow seem to have an inexplicable fondness for Kabaji. He already pulls his weight around here. Shishido, you get them!"

"Awwww," he groaned, "I hate this team!"

But it was a good selection on Atobe's part, because there was somehow something very comical about watching Shishido scuttle about getting cookies.

The Chinese staff, seeing that the students weren't planning on paying, tried to protect the kitchen by making a human wall, but that plan failed as usual and Shishido forced his way through.

"Grab the cookies and run! Grab a bunch and then run away!" Jirou screamed from the helicopter, partially to narrate and partially just for fun.

So Shishido did, and then climbed the rope ladder that Atobe had dropped down. Away they flew! And surprisingly, no one died or even got hurt in this complex transition!

XxX

Australia didn't seem all that different from Japan. The team found a random diner and filed in. Since it was that style of dining where you can sit with strangers, the team had to share a table with a kangaroo, but other than that, everything else was fine.

"Well!" said Oshitari, wiping non-existent sweat from his brow. "Teleporting to random countries always makes me hungry! Waiiiiiiiiiiiiiitreeeeeeeessss!"

The waitress cam over. She bore a strong resemblance to the waitress from the Chinese restaurant that they had left behind.

"We're not very familiar with this area." Atobe told her. "In fact, we just arrived. Actually, I'm not even sure how I'm speaking English, but that's not the point. We don't know the regional specialties; what would you recommend?"

"Oh, I don't know." She said. "Everything's good."

"Right." Atobe nodded once. "Well then, we'll have everything. And a stack of pancakes for me."

"Right-o."

Atobe looked a little calmer after she had left. "...so what's up with you guys?" he asked his team.

"I think I'm suffering from jetlag." Said Gakuto, rubbing his eyes.

"Right, except that doesn't even make sense because if you travel to a time zone east of your normal time zone, the jetlag works so that you feel very alert at night." Choutarou aptly pointed out.

"Ah. Touché." Said Gakuto.

Hiyoshi looked a little uncomfortable, but that was probably just because he had to sit next to the kangaroo. Kabaji sat on the animal's other side, but they got along well because neither had a personality. Shishido and Oshitari were not doing anything worth noting, so we'll skip over them.

"Well, we've arrived because we stuck together," said Atobe, raising his glass of water. "To us! Champions one and all!"

"Actually, we've never won anything." Said Oshitari.

"And what is it with you using weird lines all evening?" added Shishido. "You've been acting really out of character. It's like you're affected or something."

"That's it!" cried Gakuto, leaping to his feet. "I've been thinking that all evening, but now I see what it is!"

"What?" said Jirou suspiciously.

Gakuto looked around furtively before leaning in to talk to his teammates.

"Have you ever considered....." he whispered. "That maybe there's some sort of alternate plot going on here? Like we're not controlling our lives? Like everything that's befallen us is just a series of events controlled by someone parodying a musical?"

"What.....our lives as a musical......?" Atobe asked slowly.

Gakuto nodded vigorously. "Exactly!"

There was a pause. Then Atobe said, "You've set a new record today for commentary, Gakuto. Because that's officially the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life and I'm not talking to you anymore. Where the hell are my pancakes?"

Everyone started talking amongst themselves and ignoring Gakuto, who ground his teeth in frustration. "You guys just don't see it!" he cried, "But there's something strange going on here!"

"Don't be silly, Gakuto," said Jirou. "Nothing weird is going on here. We're just bopping to the top. Slipping and sliding and riding the rhythm."

Gakuto clawed at his hair in frustration and let his head fall to the table.

Soon the food came and everyone minus Gakuto ate and chatted and partied and bonded with the kangaroo, who turned out to be quite fun. After they were finished, Atobe suddenly remembered,

"We almost forgot! Let's eat the cookies!"

Everyone looked at Shishido, who sighed and withdrew them from his man-bag.

"Wait a minute," Jirou frowned, "how many did you get, Shishido? Are there enough for everyone?"

"I don't know. I just grabbed a handful." Shishido shrugged.

"Well, there's only eight!" snapped Jirou, as he finished counting. "And with our new friend—he jerked his head at the kangaroo—we're nine!"

"Well, I wasn't anticipating extra company!" Shishido shot back. "And just for the record, it's kind of difficult to count when you have a restaurant full of angry Chinese people chasing you!"

"Excuses, excuses," said Atobe, shaking his head. "Now how are we going to decide who gets left out? I certainly won't let our new friend be the one."

"What is it with you and liking random people who have no personality whatsoever and never say a word?" Shishido asked, bewildered.

"Maybe _you _should be left out?" Atobe silkily changed the subject.

"Hey! I'm the one who risked my life to _get _us these cookies." Said Shishido angrily. "Why the hell should it be me?"

"How about Gakuto?" Choutarou inserted. "By all fair standards, he's not even supposed to be here!"

"And he hasn't hit puberty." Oshitari pointed out.

"Aww, but I love fortune cookies!" said Gakuto, his eyes getting moist.

"Then let's be fair about it." Said Hiysohi, taking out a coin. "We'll flip for it. That way, between you and the kangaroo, you have a fifty percent chance of winning the cookie. It's only fair."

"How is it _fair_ that I have to _gamble_ for my cookie against a fucking_ kangaroo_!?" Gakuto screamed.

The rest of the team didn't listen to him at all, just watched as Hiyoshi flipped the coin.

"Tails." He said. Then he looked up. "Oh! I forgot to have someone call it!" he realized. He shook his head and laughed. Actually, it was more of a grunt since Hiyoshi can't laugh.

Oshitari passed out from too high a concentration of stupidity in the area. But then as they were making plans to give his cookie to Gakuto, he revived.

"Okay, let's flip again." Hiyoshi said. "Gakuto, do you want to call it?"

"Yeah, I'll take my chances against Captain Kangaroo," he said, "Literally. Tails."

Hiyoshi flipped. It was heads.

"I hate this team!" Gakuto cried, as they gave the cookie to the animal. "I hate this place! I hate this situation! You know what the problem is?" he suddenly realized. "I mean, other than the fact that we're living in a musical?"

"That you won't shut up?" suggested Jirou.

"No! It's that no one's died!"

Everyone turned to look at him.

"What the hell's _that_ supposed to mean?" said Atobe finally.

"Generally, someone on the team dies or goes to the hospital." Gakuto explained. "That's how the fortune cookie numbers work out."

"Right, but this story isn't morbid." Said Atobe. "Actually, it's borderline gay."

"We have to do something about it!" Gakuto said.

"Would you like to offer yourself up as the one who dies?" Atobe asked.

"What—no!" he said immediately.

"Then stick to the status quo!" Atobe sang.

Gakuto's lip trembled, but Atobe turned to face the rest of the team. "I have a marvelous idea." He said. "We'll be different from all the other teams! We'll all open our cookies at the same time and then go around in a circle reading them! I'll go first of course. Then Jirou, Shishido, Choutarou, Oshitari, Hiyoshi, Kangaroo, and Kabaji."

"Fine." Said everyone. They all unwrapped their cookies and cracked them open at the same time while Gakuto glared at them from his lonely seat.

Atobe cleared his throat and started by reading his,

"_Coach said to fake right and break left." _

_"Watch out for the pick and keep an eye on defense."_ trilled Jirou.

_"Gotta run the give and go and take the ball to the hole."_ warbled Shishido.

_"But don't be afraid to shoot the outside "J"."_ sang Choutarou.

_"Just keep ya head in the game."_ crooned Oshitari.

_"You gotta get'cha get'cha head in the game."_ Finished Hiysohi.

Neither Kangaroo nor Kabaji was capable of reading his fortune, so the team never found out what words of wisdom were on theirs. What a shame.

After they finished reading/singing their fortunes, Gakuto burst out laughing and slapped his hands on the tabletop. "I told you!" he gasped, hardly able to breath in his glee, "I _told_ you! How can you possibly say that we're not in a musical after reading those fortunes!?"

"Actually, they seems pretty normal to me." Said Atobe calmly.

"Indeed." Said Jirou. "They know that we're tennis players and they're telling us to get our heads in the game. Jolly good advice, if you ask me."

"Are you freaking _kidding_ me?" Gakuto couldn't believe it. "How can you take the cookies' side?" he turned to Hiyoshi. "For Godssake, Hiysohi, your fortune was 'you gotta get'cha get'cha head in the game'!"

"Well, it _is_ good advice." Hiyoshi said.

"It's just repeating the same thing over and over!" Gakuto screamed.

"You're just jealous." Said Jirou. "Isn't he, Shishido?"

"I'm staying out of this one." Said Shishido.

"For Gods sake!" Gakuto bellowed. "Your fortunes talk about 'taking the ball to the hole' and 'shooting outside the "J"', whatever _that_ means! Those things don't even exist in tennis!"

"Probably by 'shooting', they mean tennis shots." Said Oshitari smoothly.

"And the 'J' stands for 'Jirou'. Obviously." Said Jirou.

At this point, Gakuto went into cardiac arrest from disbelief and sort of fainted/died under the table. So the story turned out morbid after all.

"Now that's just silly." Said Choutarou, looking at Gakuto's limp body. "After all, we came all this way for him. What a selfish bastard."

"Yeah, let's get out of here." Said Atobe. "All I've really been waiting for all evening was for something bad to happen to Gakuto. Now that it's happened I can sleep in peace."

So they all got up and the kangaroo insisted on paying the bill for everyone and Kabaji gave a brief epitaph for Gakuto that made them all tear up.

Hiyoshi lead the way towards the ext, skipping happily. "I swear to God," he said, "when I get back to Japan, I'm definitely getting my head in the game. I mean, my head's going to be _so_ in the game, it's not even going to be funny."

* * *

**XxX**

* * *

**A/N:**

1. Yeah, if you didn't get that, basically half of the lines (especially those of Atobe) were quotes from High School Musical, a movie that I DO NOT endorse. :) I apologize---if you haven't the fainest inkling what that movie is about, some of the story probably didn't make sense to you.

2. btw, I didn't really have anything in mind as to what to write after Seigaku, Rikkaidai, and Hyoutei, but if you guys want more, I can continue. Any school requests?

3. I sincerely thank everyone for all the support; it really means a lot to me.


	4. Oh, My God

**A/N** Okay, before you all kill me for taking forever to update, first feel sorry for me! I was on vacation for three weeks, I admit, but afterward I got very sick. Twice. I've been stuck in bed for over a week in total. Now I'm all better and very grateful just to be able bodied again and able to write for you! Sorry this chapter is demented, but whatever. :)

* * *

**XxX**

* * *

"Bastards...." Hissed Tachibana thickly, swaying in place, "rich-kid, no-good, hog-snogging bastards....." He took another sip of his drink.

"Um, don't you think you've had enough, Tachibana-buchou?" Kamio asked timidly, regarding the orange juice before his captain.

"Had enough? No, I haven't had enough!" Tachibana yelled. "And I won't have had enough until we get our spot back! Another round!" he called to no one in particular, and a tray of new cups and a jug of juice appeared out of nowhere.

To say Tachibana was distressed would be an understatement. He had been positively nuts since last week when their team had lost to Hyoutei in a tennis match, and thus had been demoted to fourth place in the Japanese running, while Hyoutei took third.

"Those bastards!" Tachibana slammed down his cup and got to his feet quite suddenly, shaking his fist at the ceiling. "How dare they try to take the spot that I've spent so long earning for myself and my teammates?! Ever since they ate out at this restaurant, something's been different, and I'm gonna find out what!!"He collapsed in his seat again.

"Tachibana," soothed Shinji, "don't worry about it so much. If something changed for the Hyoutei team here, we can certainly figure it out, if not mimic it."

"I dunno what it is," Tachibana breathed, drinking some more. "It's not like anything I've ever seen before. Those bastards...their heads have been _so_ in the game for the past few weeks, ya know what I mean? Their heads. Have been. So. Goddam. _In the game_."

"You mean they were focused?" Uchimura asked, eyebrow furrowing.

"I mean that somehow Hyoutei has been winning everything, and everything has gone to hell for us!" Tachibana cried, waving his cup. "Their heads have been so in the game it's almost scary!"

"Why don't we just get our heads in the game?" asked Ishida carefully.

Tachibana sighed. "It isn't so simple," he said. "It'll take careful thought and planning. Getting one's head in the game is a delicate art."

They all choked on their own drinks at these words, but said nothing. Tachibana looked at them curiously, and they all had to pretend that they had seen something very amusing behind his back. Then when Tachibana turned to look, they had to claim that he had just missed it, which caused Tachibana to complain and grumble even more. Overall, it was a very complicated operation considering that all they had really done was snigger at Tachibana's comment.

The waitress arrived to take their orders.

"No, NO!" Tachibana screamed the second she arrived. "I don't want any of this! I've had it up to _here_ with plots!" he held his hand two feet over his head. "No ordering and no stupid jokes!"

"Be reasonable, Tachibana-san," said Shinji, "if someone doesn't order something, then we won't get any fortune cookies and coming here will have been a complete waste of time. We might as well just go home."

"Fine, then make it fast and don't bother me!" Tachibana snapped moodily.

Shinji regarded the menu. "I'd like the Szechuanese tofu." he said. "but instead of bok choy, could I substitute in a side of soup?"

"Certainly," she said.

"Hey, as long as we're doing substitutions, could we substitute Ann for Mori?" Kamio asked. "He hasn't said anything yet, and I'm pretty sure he's going to be a bore this evening."

"Certainly," she said again, and snapped her fingers. A group of men in black suits came to the table and lifted Mori out and replaced his seat with a very confused looking Ann.

"Why me?" cried Mori.

"You just don't add anything to this scene." Said Kamio.

"Neither does Uchimura!" Mori protested, flailing about.

"Yeah, but at least Uchimura has a baseball cap," Shinji pointed out.

"That makes no sense!" Mori managed to cry as the men in black took him out the door. Ha. Men in Black.

"Hi, Ann." Said Ishida pleasantly.

"Hello." She said. "What's going on?"

"Nothing yet," Sakurai admitted, "we're just trying to get the story moving and we had to kick out someone, of course. How does it feel to be the only person without a y chromosome to ever be a part of this kind of outing?"

"About the same as it feels to watch anime in a world full of American idol fans, I suppose," she said, calming down. "What's wrong with my brother?"

"He od'd on oj." Said Shinji.

Then there was a pause of about fifteen seconds where no one knew what to say.

"So, why don't you ever cut your hair, Shinji?" Uchimura finally asked. "I mean, why let it grow all the way to your shoulders?"

"It turns girls on," said Shinji.

"Wow." Said Ann.

"What?"

"I don't know. I just can't tell what surprises me more: that Shinji knows what sex appeal is or that he managed to say a sentence of fewer than ten words."

"Whoa!" said Ishida suddenly.

Everyone looked over to him. "What?"

"Look what I found under the table!" he cried, lifting up a dark object and setting it in the middle of the table. It was a remote control.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Tachibana asked moodily.

"Don't you see?" said Kamio excitedly, catching on, "we can fast-forward!"

"Fast-forward through what?"

"Who _really_ wants to watch Shinji eating tofu?" Kamio asked everyone.

No one moved. Shinji hung his head.

"That settles it, then!" said Kamio. "We'll just get to the part that actually matters, saving time and a few really bad transitions!"

"Yay!" everyone said.

Kamio fast-forwarded a bit too much the first time, ending up in an alternate universe where space and time were only illusions and all of life was the pursuit of a transcendentalist self-realization, but then he rewound and they all arrived just in time for the waitress to drop the fortune cookies off at their table.

"Man, I'm so smart!" said Kamio triumphantly. "I totally rode the rhythm out of that remote!"

"Hey, Genius, I found it!" snapped Ishida.

"Whatever."

"Does anyone have a napkin?" ann asked. "I think I get time-travel sickness."

"Will someone take these cookies so I don't have to stand around here awkwardly all day?" asked the waitress, who had been standing awkwardly at the side of the table for a few minutes.

"Sure," Shinji took the cookies. "I hope these are really magical. And I mean, magical as hell. We need it."

"Okay......so who wants to go first?" asked Sakurai blandly.

Everyone sat around awkwardly.

Kamio picked up the remote.

"No!" Tachibana shouted. "Uchimura, you're the most cosplaying one here; you go first!"

"Oh, god damn it," he hissed, "Mada Mada Dane you all……"

"Just because you have a hat and you're short doesn't mean you're like Echizen," added Ann.

"W-what?" said Uchimura. "I'm not trying to be like Echizen! The-fact-that-I'm-totally-acting-like-him-right-now-is-so-weird-and-totally-not-intended."

"Are those new contacts?" said Shinji suddenly, leaning forward to peer. "They look all greenish."

"Ah—yes!" he said nervously. "My mom got them for me. She said it would bring out the color of my.......ah.......bed...spread....."

There was silence.

"Wow." Said Shinji.

"Screw you," said Uchimura.

Uchimura's fortune waaaaaaaasssssss:

_Mada mada dane_

Uchimura stared at it.

"Well, that's really ambiguous," he said finally. "It totally doesn't make it clear if it's talking about me or....or something else."

"Obviously it's talking about you," said Tachibana flatly. "it's your fortune. And the worst fortune I've ever seen in my life, by the way."

"Oh, shut up! I will Mada Mada Dane your asses! You'll see! You'll all see!"

"What a shame," said Sakurai sadly, shaking his head, "it's so sad to see someone trying to be a character from Seigaku."

"Indeed," Ishida agreed, rubbing at his bandana.

Everyone looked at one another, but said nothing.

XxX

"Okay, this is my chance," breathed Sakurai, clenching his fortune cookie in his palm. "This is perhaps my only chance. To prove to everybody that I can be an important and interesting character. This fortune is going to change my life. I can feel it!"

He had squeezed the cookie so hard that it was reduced to powder while saying this, but he was still able to pull out the fortune from within:

_You will be happy. Eventually_.

There was a pause.

"Oh." Said Kamio.

"My." Said Shinji.

"God." Said Ann.

"I take it back; _that's_ the worst fortune I've ever seen in my life." Tachibana said flatly. His mood seemed to be improving.

Sakurai put his head down on the table. "That was my one and only chance to become an interesting character......" He breathed, "and that's what they gave me!"

"Oh, quit whining; you still have it better than Mori," Ishida said.

"My _chopsticks _have it better than Mori!" he shouted back.

"Well, Ann's is bound to be better than that in any case," Tachibana reasoned. "Open it up and...." He looked over to the other side of the table and saw that everyone had already moved on without him. They were all crowded around Ann's fortune.

"Hey, what the hell?" he shouted, "you guys resumed the plot without me! That is so, _so_ weak!"

"It says......it says.....oh my god......." Ann breathed.

"What? What is it!?" Tachibana yelled.

"Aniki, it's terrible!" exclaimed Ann. "Look!"

"All it says is that our tennis team is going to get cut out of the anime in a few short episodes and that we won't matter again after that," said Tachibana dismissively, after scanning it. "What's the big deal?"

"What's the……What if this loss to Hyoutei was just the first step in a series of events that will eventually lead to Fudomine characters being minor and insignificant?"

"Don't be silly, that could never happen," said Tachibana, "we're obviously main characters."

"But how can you be sure?"

"Ann, why would the makers develop a totally badass plot about us getting into a school revolution if they didn't want to use it later on?" Tachibana asked reasonably.

"I guess you're right," said Ann. "Who would make a plot like that and then never follow up? Only a complete idiot." She turned the fortune over. "Oh! And there's a postscript! I'll still be an included character even after Fudomine becomes obsolete! In that case, it's okay."

"Yeah, actually these fortunes aren't bad," admitted Kamio. "I mean, even if they don't mean anything, at least nothing gay has happened yet."

Ishida opened his fortune.

_Your deepest wish will come true_

"Holy crap……._Sweet!_" Ishida leapt out of his seat. "Gotta go you guys, looks like I'm going to meet Harry Potter and we're going to have a long chat together where we share our feelings in a treehouse made of chocolate cheerios and marshmallows! Oh my God, I have to go get ready…!"

"......"

"....."

"...._Nobody_ say a word." said Kamio dangerously, after they had all stared after the retreating boy in silence for fifteen seconds. "I'm going to open my fortune now."

_Your catchphrase is weak. But you're in luck; I have a new one for you; check this:  
Believe it! _

Kamio frowned. "I don't know what it is, but I have the strangest feeling that I've heard that somewhere before."

"Déjà vu," said Shinji.

"More like déja……entendu," Kamio said. "I don't know why it sounds so sickly familiar."

"Kamio, your commentary is boring me. Shut up." Was Tachibana's input. "This is the test of today. If my fortune doesn't completely suck, then I may consider not killing myself tonight."

"So no pressure." They all said to the fortune.

They all held their breath as Tachibana opened his fortune.

_You weren't supposed to have a fortune! Ah…I don't know……um, you'll……get eaten by a giant piece of chocolate cake! Or something……_

Tachibana stared impassively at the message. Then he slowly began to reach into his bag…

Sensing a terrible danger, Kamio hastily took out the remote control and pressed 'rewind'.

"Kamio, your commentary is boring me. Shut up." Was Tachibana's input. "This is the test of today. If this fortune doesn't completely suck, then I may consider not killing myself tonight."

"So no pressure." They said to the fortune.

They all held their breath as Tachibana opened his fortune.

But just before he could read it, Kamio pressed 'fast-forward'.

And suddenly they were all just sitting around the table together, perfectly happily.

"What just happened?" said Tachibana. "Did we just travel through time by a few minutes?"

"Nonsense!" said Kamio hastily, stowing away the remote.

"Are you sure? I feel all weird though," said Shinji, scratching his head, "and I can't remember what Tachibana's fortune was....."

"That's okay!" said Kamio. "It was great! It was so great that Tachibana got all happy and then burnt it!"

"Why would I burn my fortune if I liked it?" Tachibana asked suspiciously.

Kamio pressed 'pause'. While everyone was frozen in place, he snatched Tachibana's forgotten fortune off the table and burnt it. Then he pressed 'play'.

"See yourself, Buchou! You burnt it in delight!" said Kamio, pointing out the ashes.

"I guess you were right," said Tachibana in surprise. "Wow, sometimes I'm such a weird douchebag, I even surprise myself.....but I guess this means I'm happy!"

"Of course you are!" shouted Sakurai.

"Well, isn't this a jolly good evening!" said Tachibana. "Seriously, I'm in such a good mood. I could laugh at a funeral right now!"

"Gakuto's is in procession right now if you want to go," Kamio offered, checking his watch. "We could still make it if you want to leave now......"

Tachibana seemed pleased by this suggestion. "Certainly we'll go. Let's just let Shinji open his fortune."

Shinji frowned at his fortune for a few minutes without reading it out loud.

"What? What is it?" Said Sakurai impatiently, getting up. "We're going to miss the funeral; hurry up so we can go!"

"My lucky numbers are weird......" said Shinji finally. "Look."

_347-4359 _

The boys all looked at one another and then they glanced over at the waitress who was standing nearby. She smiled secretively and winked and Shinji.

"Oh, my _God_." realized Sakurai.

"Shinji, you _dog_!" cried Ann playfully, slapping him on the shoulder.

"Dude, I'm totally growing my hair out," said Sakurai, still in utter shock.

"Me too!" cried Uchimura.

"I'm not because I am boringly in love with Ann." Said Kamio.

"Thanks, Kamio." said Ann.

"No problem."

"Come friends!" cried Tachibana, "Who cares if Hyoutei got third!? At least no one died at _our_ team outing!"

"Yeah!" they all cried.

"And we don't have to use stupid quotes from really bad teen movies to make our names in tennis!"

"Yeah!"

"And we……oh, screw it; I don't even know what I'm rallying you guys for."

"Yeah!"

"So, onward! To Gakuto's funeral!"

The children victoriously raced out of the Chinese restaurant.

* * *

**XxX**

* * *

oOoOo~

Ah, thank God that's over....

Thanks for all the suggestions from everyone; I assure you that everyone's input has been taken into account and will manifest in later chapters. Thanks for reading!


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